


The Maps are Gone (So Are Our Footprints Too)

by J (jaywright)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Multi, Polyamory Negotiations, consensual voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:07:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25796368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaywright/pseuds/J
Summary: "Veth is greedy.  She always has been. The Veth I married, the Nott you met, and the Veth she is now aren't the same people, but they all have that in common."
Relationships: Nott | Veth Brenatto/Caleb Widogast, Yeza Brenatto & Caleb Widogast, Yeza Brenatto/Nott | Veth Brenatto
Comments: 25
Kudos: 155





	The Maps are Gone (So Are Our Footprints Too)

**Author's Note:**

> set sometime during C2E98 - contains spoilers through C2E97

"You look like you could use another one of those," Caleb heard at his elbow.

He shifted his eyes from his notes to find Yeza hovering by his table, hesitantly holding out a glass of whiskey with one hand, an uncomfortably full tankard of ale in the other.

"Ah," Caleb said, reaching for the glass quickly to let Yeza get both hands around the ale. "Thank you." He set it onto the table next to his own long-forgotten empty glass. 

He blinked, his thoughts slowly shifting back from his work to the room around him. It was still fairly empty, but the sun was setting outside the wall of windows that overlooked the sea. At the bar, Jester was holding court with most of their party gathered around her. 

"Jester insisted we let the staff watch Luc and have a night out," Yeza said. "Dinner was nice, but…" He looked back in their direction, shaking his head in something like wonder. "They're an awful lot, aren't they?"

Caleb let out a low laugh and looked to where Veth was standing on a chair beside Jester, laughing with her while Caduceus sniffed dubiously at Fjord's drink. "Sometimes," he agreed. "You notice that I did not agree to go with them."

Yeza laughed quietly. "Yeah," he agreed. "I did notice that." He gestured at the chair across from Caleb. "You mind if I…?"

Caleb waved a hand invitingly, and Yeza set his tankard carefully onto the table before scrambling up onto the tall stool. Caleb expected him to say something, but instead he just propped his chin on a hand and watched Veth for a long moment, drinking his beer. Caleb shuffled his notes back into some kind of order and reached for his whiskey. They drank in companionable silence for a while, until Yeza's eyes dropped to the notes, skimming them.

"Is this…?" he asked, tilting his head to get a better look at a diagram sketched toward the bottom of the page. "Is this another spell? Like what you figured out for Veth?"

"Oh." Caleb looked down. "No." He shuffled the papers away into his folder. "It is another project. I am working on it in a similar manner, but I hope that it will not take as long."

Yeza nodded. Caleb expected him to pry, but instead he said mildly, "If you ever run into anything that could use any alchemical knowledge," he waved a hand in an offer. "I mean, beyond what Veth can give you. She picked up a lot."

"She did," Caleb confirmed. "She is very good at picking up tricks." He felt a tiny smile ghost across his face at the memory of her casting her first spell. "She was invaluable to me, trying to learn how to…help her." He still didn't have the right words for it, for what her transformation had been, had meant.

Yeza smiled proudly as he said, "She's stubborn."

"Determined, I would have said."

Yeza looked up at him almost slyly. "Yeah, but I'm not wrong."

Caleb chuckled. "You are not."

The soft proud smile stayed on Yeza's face as he looked back toward her. "You've been good for her." There was something pointed about the _you_ that Caleb somehow understood didn't mean _the Mighty Nein_. It meant _you, Caleb Widogast_. 

"Not as good as she has been for me," he said truthfully.

Yeza turned back to his tankard, looking into it deeply. "Veth is greedy," he said. He looked from his drink to Caleb. "She always has been. The Veth I married, the Nott you met, and the Veth she is now aren't the same people, but they all have that in common." Caleb didn't have an answer for that, wasn't quite following where Yeza was going, so he just nodded, not able or willing to deny it. "She wants all of it. The adventures, our family life. The riches she can find on the road, the stability she can have at home." His eyes didn't leave Caleb's as he continued, "Me. You."

Caleb's fingers slipped against his glass. He didn't quite drop it, but it made a heavy thunk as it slid from his grasp and landed on the table, sloshing whiskey over him. " _Scheiße_ ," he hissed, and lifted his fingers to his lips to suck at them impatiently. "This – " he said, his voice thick in his throat. He cleared it and tried again. "This is a conversation for you and Veth."

"Yeah, we've had it," Yeza said, which made Caleb look up at him from his drink, dropping his hand back to the table.

"You've what." The words were flat, barely a question.

"We've been having it since she rescued me," Yeza said, seemingly unconcerned by Caleb's distress, "I've been trying to tell her that she _can_ have all of it, at least for now, but it's like she just doesn't hear me when I say it. Like it's so big for her that whatever I say doesn't even make a dent in her determination to just keep beating herself up about it. I thought maybe..." He gave a little shrug. "I don't know, maybe she's just not in the habit of listening to what I have to say, since we haven't been around each other much in so long. Maybe she'd hear it better coming from you."

"I – " Caleb's voice choked off. "Hear…what, exactly?"

Yeza shrugged. "That having one home doesn't mean she can't have another. That wanting to be there for Luc doesn't mean she has to be here with him all day every day for his whole life. That loving me doesn't mean she can't love anyone else." He sighed. "I was never going to be enough for her. Our life in Felderwin would always have been too small. And I'd've given anything for us to not have come to that realization the way we did, but it was going to happen eventually, somehow. Even if there had been no goblins, and no Cerberus Assembly…she would have needed more. And I wouldn't have been able to give it to her." His eyes went back to Veth, who was folding a napkin into some shape, Caduceus watching raptly. Beside her, Jester was predictably crafting a dick, to Fjord's amusement. 

"This is not," Caleb reiterated, "my conversation to have." The words came out more stiffly than he'd intended them, but Yeza didn't seem bothered.

"I know," he said, sounding defeated. "I just don't know what else to do. I don't _know_ her right now. Not really. This version of her that she is now is some kind of combination of the Veth I knew and the Nott you knew, and I feel like there's this whole side of her that I just…haven't gotten to know yet. I will, in time. I want to. But for now…I need her to know that I'm not looking for more from her than she's ready to give me." His eyes went to Caleb. "And I need you to know that I need for her to not be alone when she's out there." Caleb opened his mouth to respond, but Yeza continued. "I know she hasn't. I know she's had you…all of you. And that's one of the things that's kept me steady through this, knowing that she has family with her." He sighed. "I know I said before that she’s not mine to give, and I meant that. But I need you to know that she _has_ given herself to you, Caleb. I need to know that you're aware of that."

Caleb swallowed tightly, his whole body burning with the need to flee, to gather his notes and run from the room and never look Yeza in his intense eyes ever again. Instead, he settled his hands flat against the table and looked at him straight on. "As I have given myself to her," he said simply.

Yeza let out a relieved breath. "Good," he said.

"You are mistaken, though," Caleb said. "I am not the messenger for this. I don't know how to make her believe you any more than you do. Sometimes guilt is…" he looked away. "Irrational. Stronger than the words that anyone else can give you. Sometimes all that works is time."

"And sometimes not even that." Yeza's expression was shrewd as he looked Caleb over. He sighed. "Yeah," he agreed. "I thought that might be what I got. But I had to try." This time when he looked over his shoulder at Veth, she was looking back, watching them both curiously, and Yeza lifted a small hand in a wave. He turned back to Caleb as Veth started climbing down from her stool. "Thanks," he said. "And for what it's worth…" he reached out to press his hand to Caleb's just briefly against the table, warm and reassuring, "I'm glad she found you."

Caleb let his hand flip over, grasping Yeza's briefly but tightly. "And the same to you," he said. "I am glad the rescue was successful."

His hand was around his glass by the time Veth crossed to them, lifting it to his lips as Veth tucked herself against Yeza's side, his arm dropping to curl comfortably around her. 

"Talking about me?" she asked lightly.

"Always," Yeza replied, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her head.

Veth's eyes narrowed, darting sharply between them. "Not sure I like that," she said.

Caleb held up a hand conciliatorily. "He asked me to be good for you, when we are on the road away from him," he said. "I told him that I intend to. It was not a complicated conversation."

Her eyes slid from him to Yeza. "Sounds complicated," she said, the words mild, but her tone holding an edge to it.

"It wasn't," Yeza assured her.

She shifted away from him, her eyes narrowing. "What did you say to him?" she demanded.

Yeza held up his hands. "Nothing he didn't know!" His voice started to go high and defensive, and Caleb saw Caduceus look over from the bar.

He pushed back his seat abruptly, standing and gathering his things. "This is not the place for whatever this is going to become," he said stiffly in a low voice. He reached for his drink, finishing it in one gulp, feeling the whiskey burn its way down his throat. "I am going to my room," he announced. He let his eyes fall to Veth. "This man loves you," he said severely. "He wants the world for you, whether or not you believe you deserve it." He looked to Yeza briefly before letting his eyes fall to hers again. "And you know that he is not alone in this."

He swept by her, not waiting for a response.

His hands were shaking by the time he made it to his room, fumbling his papers as he tucked them away into his pack. He snapped his fingers and gathered up Frumpkin, burying his face into his soft fur. " _What a mess_ ," he muttered in Zemnian. 

Frumpkin sensed them in the hall before he did, squirming free of Caleb's grasp and crossing the room to sniff at the door seconds before Caleb heard the loud rap of Veth's tiny fist against it. He sighed, exchanging a look with the cat before snapping his fingers and blinking him out of existence. 

Veth was leaning against the doorframe when he opened it, arms crossed, Yeza hovering awkwardly just past her. She reached out to push the door further open, then grabbed Yeza's hand, dragging him in behind her. 

Caleb reached out to close it behind them. "Come in," he said dryly, belatedly.

"Don't give me that," Veth snapped, turning on him, pointing a finger in his direction. "Kicking us out of the bar doesn't mean you get to just stop having this conversation."

He held his hands up. "I do not think it is my conversation to have," he said. "I said as much to Yeza."

"Bullshit." Veth's voice went flatter around the word. "You don't get to say what you said down there and walk away."

He sighed and sunk down against the edge of the bed, dropping closer to her level. "Veth," he said. "I said nothing that I haven't said to you before. I love you. I want what is best for you. I will do all that I can to be there for you while we travel together. None of this is new."

"Yeah, but you can't just – " she waved a hand wildly at Yeza.

"What, say it in front of your husband?" Yeza asked. "Yeah, he can."

"Why?" she demanded, turning on him. "Why is all of this just _fine_ for you? Wife's a goblin? Weird, but okay! Disappears for months at a time? Sure, no problem! Turns up with some stray wizard she's decided to keep? Great! Don't you ever just – " she broke off, words fading into an inarticulate noise of frustration.

"Get jealous?" he asked. "Not really, no." He shrugged, and reached forward to take her hands. She tensed like she was going to pull them away, but instead Caleb could see her forcing herself to relax into it, to let Yeza's touch steady her. "I don't want adventures, Veth. I want to do interesting work, and raise our incredible kid, and build a life that will be good for all three of us. But I don't need you to be here all of the time to do those things." He looked helplessly toward Caleb. "I said it better before," he said searchingly.

"You did," Caleb agreed.

"I don't remember…"

"I do," Caleb said. Veth turned to look at him. "Yeza spoke with me," he said, "because he thought that he was not getting through to you. That your guilt at staying away from him and your child was keeping you from hearing what he had to say. He thought that maybe you would hear it if I said it. I told him that it was not going to come from me. That this was a conversation for the two of you to have." He saw Yeza wither a little at the words, until he continued. "But what he said to me was this: Having one home does not mean that you cannot have another. Wanting to be there for your child does not mean that you must be there with him all of the time. And…" He looked to Yeza, who gave him the smallest of nods. His voice was a little rougher as he finished, "Loving your husband does not make you incapable of loving anyone else."

Veth swallowed tightly, looking from him to Yeza, her teeth sinking into her lower lip in a way that Caleb hadn't seen on this face, but recognized so clearly as the expression Nott would make when she was trying not to cry. 

Her voice was almost too low for Caleb to catch as she leaned in to kiss Yeza, but not quite. "You deserve better." He swallowed her words in a deep kiss, and Caleb looked down, threading his fingers together and watching them intertwine, trying to remove himself from this moment.

"I deserve what I want," Yeza said steadily as they pulled apart, and Caleb looked up to find him smirking at Veth. "I want you." She opened her mouth to object, but he continued. "That doesn't mean I need you here all the time. What you're doing is important." He shifted a little, raising an eyebrow significantly, "And it pays."

A tiny laugh escaped her. "Yeah," she agreed. "It does." Her eyes darted to Caleb, and he knew she was remembering their pickpocketing days. "If you do it right."

"Well, you clearly do," Yeza said. "The money isn't everything, but it's something. It's setting up a future for Luc. I'm not saying I want this to be our lives forever. I hope someday whatever you're doing now finds some sort of…I don't know. Conclusion? Resolution? But if I asked you to stay, right now, you'd do it."

Her eyes went wide. "Of course I would."

"And you'd be miserable," Yeza said. "You'd last about three days before you were sneakily sending messages to them, desperate to know what was going on. And at the first sign they were in trouble, you'd be gone, with no warning. This is…better." He sighed. "I'm not saying I don't want you here all the time. I'd love that. But I know _you_ wouldn't love that. Not yet. There are things you want to do in the world, and I'm not going be what keeps you from doing them. All I ask is that you come home. You stay alive, you don't do anything stupid and reckless – " he looked at Veth very intently and seriously, "and you come home to me and Luc at the end of this. And whenever you can in between."

"I don't know what 'the end of this' means."

"It doesn't mean anything right now," Yeza said. "You'll know." His words had a confidence to them that Caleb didn't feel. "You'll hit a point in all of this, and you'll decide that everything's not going to fall apart without you. You're not there yet, and that's fine. Because everything _here_ isn't going to fall apart without you. We miss you. Don't ever think that we don’t. But we're okay. We're…" A grin split across his face. "We're doing better here than we ever were back home. Nicodranas is really good for us." 

"Us," she repeated a little hollowly. "You and Luc."

"For now," he replied gently. He reached to touch her face. "But someday, all of us. Or we go somewhere else." He grinned. "Location scout for us on your travels. Find us the best spot in Wildemount."

"I will," Veth said, like she took it as a challenge.

Yeza's smile was fond. "I know you will," he said.

Caleb could see the moment when Veth remembered he was there, her eyes shifting back to him. He kept his expression carefully neutral, a faint approving little smile still tugging at his lips. "We can help," he offered.

Her expression shuttered instantly. "Don't do that," she said sharply.

"Don't do what?" he asked.

"Be all…" she waved a hand between her and Yeza. "Supportive."

"I do support you, Veth. I support anything you want. Finding a home for your family sounds like a fine goal to have."

"Cut it out." She pulled away from Yeza and turned on him. The finger she jabbed into his face was fierce. " _You're_ my family. You and the rest of those assholes." Her brow furrowed. " _And_ Yeza and Luc, and apparently the stupid dog – thanks, Jester. And I don't know what to do about that yet. But I'm not just going to find someplace in the world and disappear from the rest of you. That's not how this works."

"We'll see," Caleb replied placidly. "Someday," he said, "you might decide that that's exactly what you would like to do."

"Maybe," Veth said impatiently, and if he let his mind wander a little, he could hear the words coming directly from Nott. "Someday. But not today. If Yeza really doesn't mind me going out with you guys – " there was a pause where Caleb didn't watch the glance they exchanged, but knew that it happened, "I'm going to keep doing that. And that makes you my family, Caleb. You and the rest of the Nein."

"Good." His voice felt like it stuck in his throat, and his arms felt stiff as he reached out to gather her to him, holding her close.

She let her head tilt against his shoulder, her fingers going tight in his shirt, and they held each other for a very long time. "You had things you wanted to do," she said finally, her voice muffled against him. "You've had projects you were working on for years, and you stopped doing them to…" Her fingers went tighter. "To fix me."

"I have _so much_ to do," he said with feeling. "There is never enough time." He gathered her closer. "But it was worth it." 

She made a tiny noise against him, holding on. "I…" she said finally, her voice choked. "I don't know what I’m doing here." 

"Neither do I," he admitted, his eyes meeting Yeza's over her shoulder. He didn't know what he expected to find there, but all he saw was the fond smile on Yeza's face, his eyes on Veth until he felt Caleb looking at him. He raised his eyes slightly, but the expression didn't fade, encompassing both of them. 

Caleb closed his eyes against it, burying his face against the plush skin of Veth's shoulder. "I thought…" she said carefully, and he could feel her go a little stiff against him. "I thought you were interested in Jester." He swallowed tightly. "Or Essek. Or Fjord," she continued. "Or Molly, back in the day. And then there's Astrid…I don't know. You're not always easy to read, but…I feel like you have some sort of weird tension with like…everyone who's not a lesbian."

He let out a low laugh, lifting his head, tilting it back to look at the ceiling instead of at her. "As you have 'tension' with both Yeza and myself," he pointed out. "I am not…" he took a long time to gather his thoughts before continuing. "I do not love easily, or lightly. The people I have loved in my life are few, but those who I do love, I love deeply, and in all ways." He let his fingers curl against her skin, pulling her closer to him. "I love you in all ways, Veth Brenatto." He breathed out slowly. "This is not to the exclusion of loving anyone else. I…" He swallowed. "I will not deny an attraction to some of the people you mentioned. If that is a deal breaker for you, I understand. But…" He let his eyes drift over to Yeza. "As someone wise has already said tonight, loving one person doesn't mean that you are not capable of loving another."

She pulled back, looking at him seriously, and he expected for a moment that she would turn away, her greedy nature getting the better of her. Instead, she held his gaze. "I want you to tell me about it," she said finally. "If we do this thing, I'm going to want to know what's going on with you and anyone else."

He swallowed tightly, but nodded. "Not now," he said. "But yes. I will tell you."

She nodded in agreement. "Deal." Her fingers closed around his, and he shook her hand almost before he realized what was happening. As he caught up, he felt a grin split across his face. She grinned back. Caleb felt a rush of relief at the familiar mischievousness in her expression. She tilted her forehead against his, the two of them breathing in each other's space, and there was a part of him that felt like it would be so easy to lean forward, catch her lips with his. Instead, he reached for her waist, closing his hands around it and pulling her close.

"Show me," he breathed, ducking his head low to be even with her ear. "Have him show me what you like. What I should do with you when I have you to myself."

He felt her shiver against him. "Yeah," she agreed, low and shaky. "Yeah, okay." She pulled away, giving him a shove, and he rose from the bed, retreating to the chair in the corner. He watched Yeza's eyes follow him.

"Oh." Yeza's voice came out squeaky and strained. "I don't think…" his eyes darted between Veth and Caleb. "I mean," he said directly to Caleb, "I'm not sure what we do is really…what you're looking for." His eyes were a little wild when they returned to Veth.

"I tell him what to do," she said, her voice loud enough that Caleb knew she was talking to him, but her eyes didn't leave Yeza. "I make him give me what I want."

Caleb felt a thrill go through him at the words. "That is exactly what I'm looking for," he assured Yeza.

Yeza's eyes went wide. "Yeah?" he asked.

Caleb let out a low laugh. "What kind of person do you think your wife attracts? Certainly not someone who thinks they can tell her what to do."

Yeza laughed, but it was interrupted by Veth's hand pressing against his jaw, cutting off his words. His mouth snapped shut.

"I fuck him sometimes," she said conversationally. A flush spread up Yeza's face from his neck, and Veth let her hand drop.

Caleb suddenly had a vivid image of being spread out on a bed in front of Veth as she worked him over with her fingers, maybe a toy. "Oh," he said faintly, feeling his breath go shallow at the thought.

She eyed him with interest. "Yeah, I thought that might be something you'd go for," she said. 

"I…haven't," he said haltingly. His experience had been minimal, and not particularly varied. "But…" he swallowed tightly. "I think I would like to."

Her eyes narrowed a little, considering. "I think I'd like that, too." Their eyes stayed on each other for a very long moment. "We don't have what we need for that tonight, but I'll do some strategic packing when we head out of town." She looked back to Caleb. "Have you ever been with a guy?"

"I – " he blinked. " _Ja_. A few times. But only…" he made a vague gesture toward his lips.

"Oh." A slow smile spread across Veth's face. "That's kinda hot."

He let out a low chuckle. "It was mostly awkward," he admitted.

She looked a little disappointed. "So you're not good with…" she repeated his gesture.

He felt his face heat up. "I am," he said with an edge of defensiveness. "With…well. I could be good for you," he said.

"We'll see," she said almost dismissively, and he felt a surge of competitiveness well up in him, a need to prove himself. Instead of continuing that line of inquiry, though, Veth seemed to remember Yeza standing there in front of her, and she turned back to him. "Take off your clothes," she said commandingly.

His fingers were at the fastenings of his shirt before she had even finished speaking. "Yes, ma'am," he said easily. His face and ears were still flaring red, but he stripped neatly and efficiently, as if well practiced. 

Veth's eyes followed his movements, but her words were for Caleb. "I thought about doing this sometimes, you know. We'd be at some inn after we'd pulled off some con, and I'd be laying there all wrapped up in you, feeling like I was going to implode if I didn't get off, and I'd think about leaning in and whispering in your ear, telling you exactly what I wanted from you."

He shivered, imagining it, thinking of all the nights he'd fallen asleep with her in his arms, both of them drained from the tension of the day, or the mornings he'd woken up uncomfortably hard against her. "You could have," he said. "I would have given you what you asked for."

"Sure," she agreed, "and how long would you have stayed after that? A day and a half? I'd look up in the middle of the street the next day and you'd have been gone. Probably with half our shit."

He let out a choked laugh. "Probably," he agreed, not even able to deny it. He didn't know if it was true – he'd like to think that he wouldn't have abandoned Nott for anything – but he could feel the panic rising in him just at the thought of it, of waking to the feeling of her in his arms and the dawning realization of what they had done the night before.

"Now me," Veth commanded Yeza, and he stepped forward, his fingers quick against her clothes as he carefully took them off of her. She was shameless in her nakedness, comfortable in a way that made pride well up in Caleb at having helped her craft this body for herself. She watched him looking her over, heat in her eyes, and he felt the first stirrings of arousal at the sight of Yeza's hands moving across her body, the way her eyes went vague and unfocused as he touched her almost worshipfully. Caleb felt his own fingers twitch, wanting so badly to feel the soft warmth of her skin.

Some kind of unspoken communication passed between them once Veth's clothes had all fallen to the floor, and they climbed up onto the bed, Yeza sitting back against the pillows, Veth settling in against his chest, facing Caleb. Caleb caught his breath as we watched Yeza's hands come around her, one settling to her hip, pulling her back against him where Caleb could see he was already hard, the other reaching to brush his fingers across a nipple. Veth caught her lower lip in her teeth as Yeza ducked his head to press warm messy kisses against the curve where her shoulder met her neck.

She kept her eyes on Caleb, arching into Yeza's touch, rocking back against him and making him moan into her skin.

Caleb cursed under his breath in Zemnian, shifting in his chair, his pants growing uncomfortably tight as his eyes tried to drink in every touch that made Veth's breath hitch, her body tremble against Yeza. By the time Yeza's other hand dropped from her hip to sink his fingers into her – smooth and seamless, no hesitation, no preparation – Caleb was leaning forward, trying to get some relief by curling in on himself, letting his cock press against the seam of his pants. Veth gasped out a breath and tilted her hips, sinking down greedily onto Yeza's fingers, fucking herself onto them.

"Harder," she demanded, and Yeza's hand fell from her breast, curling around her hip to get better leverage, to drag her closer to him and fuck his fingers into her. Her head fell back against his shoulder as she came, her body shuddering and clenching around his touch, but when she lifted her head, her eyes went directly to Caleb.

He met her gaze steadily, breathing heavily, his body strung tight with need.

She squirmed out of Yeza's grip, giving him a slap on the hip, and he grinned at her, sliding down the bed with practiced ease and letting her take his place against the pillows. Caleb knew what came next, but it was still breathtaking watching it happen, watching Veth splay out, her fingers curl into Yeza's hair, dragging his face to her cunt and _using_ him, getting herself off against his tongue.

Caleb let out a small choked sound as she came again, which he thought was swallowed up by her own noises, but she was looking at him knowingly when she raised her head.

"You want it to be you," she said, her voice unsteady, sounding a little wrecked. "You want to do this to me."

"Yes." The reply was immediate and involuntary. "Please."

He saw Yeza lift his head, looking up at Veth, but she shook her head at him and tugged him back down to press his mouth to her again. "Not tonight," she told Caleb, and this time the groan he let out was clearly audible. "Tonight," she said with false primness, "I'm with my husband."

Caleb's fingers went tight against the arms of the chair he was sitting in. " _Ja_ ," he agreed vaguely, feeling desperation for the touch of her skin welling up in him, but he kept watching instead, his eyes on every arch and stretch of her body, every grip of her fingers and gasp from her lips as Yeza brought her off with his mouth again, cataloguing her responses, planning for a night that was not tonight.

She was shaking when she finally pushed Yeza's face away from her, and Caleb thought that maybe she would be done, that maybe she'd have Yeza get himself off, or reach to help him out. Instead, she rolled over onto her front, showing off her ass to both of them, and she looked over her shoulder expectantly to Yeza as she tilted her hips back, exposing herself to him.

"Give it to me," she demanded. His hands were gentle against her hips as he lined himself up to her, still soaked from his mouth and her own desire, but he thrust into her with more force than Caleb expected. She threw herself back against it, clearly relishing in the sensation, and Caleb lifted a fist to his mouth, sinking his teeth into a finger to keep from touching himself, from groaning aloud at the incandescent hotness of Veth taking what she demanded.

"Please," Yeza was begging, his body curling in over hers, his forehead resting against her back. "Veth, please, I can't, I have to – "

"Not yet," she told him, and he let out a tragic whimper, but kept fucking her, his body shaking with restraint. "You know," she said conversationally, her words broken with his thrusts, "I think Caleb should be allowed to get off too, what do you think?" Caleb let out an involuntary sound, and he could see her dropping her head to peek at him around her own body. "Would you like that, Caleb?"

He dropped his hand from his mouth and let out a shuddering breath. "Yes. Please." His hands were shaking with anticipation, his whole body aflame with the need to touch himself, and Yeza's desperate pleas were still echoing around them, giving a sense of urgency to the moment.

"You should," she said. "You should come. You both should."

Yeza fell apart against her, his hips stuttering in a messy rhythm as he cried out, and Veth squirmed to get a hand under herself, touching herself as Caleb let his own hand fall to press against his cock through his pants.

He could get himself off like that, he knew he could, just by rocking forward into his hand a few times, but he was desperate for the touch of skin – _her_ skin, which he couldn't have – so instead, he got his hand into his pants, closing it around himself and letting out a low moan at the relief of having heat and pressure around his cock. He jerked himself almost teasingly, not needing to draw it out, but trying to match his timing to hers, and they came within seconds of each other, the noises she let out and the sight of her body shaking as she got herself off again against her hand finally dragging him over the edge.

He watched them as he came down, the way Yeza climbed up the bed to curl against her side, their arms going around each other, both of them sleepy and sated in a way that made him feel like he was intruding until Veth finally lifted her head to look at him. 

"Hey," she said in that raspy voice that still sounded so much like Nott, "this is your bed. You should come here and use it."

He looked from her to Yeza, who was barely keeping his eyes open, expression completely blissed out. He managed to raise his head and give Caleb a tiny nod before burying his face against Veth's neck, his whole body melting against her. Caleb stood awkwardly and crossed to the bed, but he found that he couldn't let himself settle onto it, not with the two of them looking so comfortable and self-contained, until Veth reached up, her fingers tangling into his and dragging him down toward her.

At that touch, he went easily, caving down onto his knees against the edge of the mattress and letting himself stretch out beside her, stiff and uncomfortable but still familiar from so many nights they had spent like this in barns and inns on their own, and in the hut among the rest of the Mighty Nein. She curled onto her side so that Yeza was stretched out behind her, and she tucked herself against Caleb's chest.

He felt something break in him at the familiar comfortable motion, and his arms went around her, gathering her close to him, dropping his head to press a soft kiss to the top of her head.

"I am afraid," he admitted, and he felt her body shake with a single laugh against him.

"Hey, welcome to my life." She didn't lift her head to look at him. "Of what?"

"That we are going to break whatever we are by doing this."

"I don't feel broken," she said. "Do you?"

He breathed out a laugh. "Always."

"Any more than you did a few hours ago?"

He considered, closing his eyes and feeling her pressed against him, Yeza's slow steady breathing against his arm where it was tucked between them. "No," he admitted. "Perhaps even a little less."

"Good," she said. "That's something." She went still against him for long enough that he started to wonder if she had fallen asleep before she spoke again, low and serious, her voice muffled against his chest. "I promised," she said, "a very long time ago that I would be at your side until you've forgiven yourself for the things you've done."

He swallowed. "We both know that day will likely never come."

She shrugged against him. "Maybe," she said. "But I intend to keep that promise. You weren't responsible for fixing me. That's something I'm working on for myself. But you were a big part of it. You put effort into it, and you put your own plans on hold to learn how to give me what I needed. And I intend to do the same for you." She pulled him closer. "You know that's why I'm not done, right? The adventures are great, don't get me wrong. And so is the gold. But you're my unfinished business, Caleb."

"I know," he said hollowly. "If not for me…"

"I'd be dead in a ditch," she finished. "In a goblin's body. Yeza would still be in the clutches of you-know-who, and Luc would be living with a woman he barely knows. Instead, we're here. Safe, and ourselves, and together. Don't think I will ever forget that."

She burrowed against him, and he closed his eyes, letting his face rest against the top of her head, breathing in the clean new scent of her, curling his body around hers protectively, feeling the heat of her skin sinking into his body through his clothes. The last thought he had before he drifted off to sleep was an echo of her words, and he repeated them in his mind like a meditation, like something that someone with a different set of beliefs from his own might even have called a prayer.

_Safe, and ourselves, and together._


End file.
